Wednesday 6 November 2013

50 Days-50 Observations of an Englishman on Spanish/Mallorcan culture and anything in between

Today is my 50th Day in Mallorca so I thought I'd do something special to commemorate it. I've compiled a list of things in no particular order that I have learnt during my time here for your education and entertainment.

1. Olive oil and salt are present at EVERY meal.

Whether they're needed or not, you can guarantee Olive Oil (Oli) and Salt will be on the table should someone need to smother their perfectly natural and healthy salad or other item of food that was perfectly acceptable to eat beforehand-This includes breakfast.

2. Catalan is a very passionate language.

When people speak in Catalan 75% of the time it sounds like they are having a heated debate or argument on something when they could simply be talking about what they had for lunch yesterday.

3. Sea Food and Eat It.

As an island, it is no surprise that Sea Food (Mariscos) harbours a strong interest in the fine cuisine department. Personally I've never really been a Sea Food kind of guy however after weeks of Paella, Prawns, Shrimp, Muscles and Octopus I must say I have grown to like it. Also, I'm still not sure how , but the Mediterranean diet seems to work. Pretty much no one here seems to be that fat and I have noticed for all the times I've been out having nice food and drink in restaurants I have still managed to stop myself from ballooning outwards. GREAT SUCCESS! *said in Borat's voice*

Octopus from last week


4. Spanish Hospitality

As far as I'm aware, it is not something Spain is traditionally renowned for but I must say I have been made to feel really welcome by just about every Spanish person I've encountered in Mallorca. Maybe it's cos I'm making an effort with my Spanish, I don't know.

5. Marina always talks in the third person.

How vain is this 2 year old!?!?

6. Baila Baila Baila Bele Bele Bele.

Having been on the odd night out in Palma and Alcúdia, looking at the general attitude in bars and nightclubs, most people seem to go out actually JUST to dance! If you go to any student dominated nightclub or bar across the UK, you are more than likely to see several people utilising the whole idea of loud repetitive dance music to 'go out on pull' in search of 'clunge' or whatever the female equivalent is for that filthy word. While I've been out in Mallorca, this has rarely been the case with  most people being interested in shaking what god gave them to one of the many funky Spanish worded songs blasted over the PA than the noble art of 'Pulling'.

7. It aint over til TIL is over.

Spain is a politically strained country at the moment due to all the economic issues and the whole TIL issue is kicking up some real fuss here and looks like it could be going on for a while. More demonstrations and more civil unrest looms on the horizon. And we thought our government was bad.

Fight the power!



8. Spain like de Mango!

I've had so much tropical fruit here that I never/rarely have at home-Watermelon, Kiwi, Pineapple, Lemon, Pomegranate, Mango. The list goes on...

9. Phoney Fraser.

Something that I've never had to do in Spain before is answer the phone and I must say without the face-to-face interaction of a regular conversation it is something I struggle with. When I answer the phone to a non-family member they fire away in rapid Spanish or Catalan expecting to be speaking to a fellow native speaker only to hear my confused voice when I struggle to understand what they're saying.

10. Be careful crossing the road.

At some crossroads in Palma, certain right turn lanes are given the green light "with caution" whilst there is a pedestrian green light for that same crossing. Many drivers ignore the "with caution" and just fly through the junction so make sure you're aware of your surroundings.

11. Spanish Football > English Football. As a proud Norwich City supporter it pains me to say this but Spanish Football is much more entertaining. At times the stadiums may be half empty and it may not attract the same level of attention as the Premier League, but Football at the highest levels is fast paced, more skillful and a more ground-based game than in England where the ball seems to spend 50% of the match in the air while teams like Stoke try and knock lumps out of you. Plus, considering I've seen the Spanish National Team for free and Real Mallorca for under 10 euros you can't go wrong with the whole 'Price of Football' issue.

Desperately trying to fit in with the locals by getting myself a Real Mallorca shirt

12. Catalan is a bigger deal than I expected.

Previous to arriving in Mallorca, I just thought of Catalan (Majorquin is spoken here, a slight variation of mainland Catalan) as an "Up Yours", Two finger salute of a language towards the majority of Spain who speak Castilian Spanish like Welsh is to the rest of the UK. It turns out Catalan has a rich heritage and influence to such a point that wherever you go about 80% of any written language is in Catalan and it is the first choice language of the locals. No wonder they're so uptight about these new TIL education laws! Speaking regular Castiliano is one of the ways in which you can be easily identified as a tourist.

13. Location, Location, Location.

My host family have an excellent flat in a great location in the suburbs of Palma. The nearest pool? In the apartment complex. Supermarket? less than 5 minutes away. Park over the road, the kids school another sub 5 minute walk and a Music shop at the end of the street. Although  it is a good 25-30 minute walk away from the city centre, I don't think I could've asked for a better base in Palma. Being about 2 minutes away from the sea in Alcúdia is not too bad either, great for Open Water Swimming.

14. I will never truly understand kids.

In one day, most young children will go from balling there eyes out one minute to extreme happiness the next. There's very rarely a happy medium, just one big emotional roller-coaster.

15. Being British all-of-a-sudden makes you 100 times more interesting.

On top of the welcoming nature I have experienced here, the Spanish have an excellent attitude towards language learning. Thanks to my many freckles, I am easily identified as a non-español and people seem genuinely interested in speaking to me so they can learn about British culture and the English language with some actively choosing to switch the conversation into English despite my best efforts to keep talking in Spanish. It goes without saying that English is a powerful world language that is highly useful not just for communication but for business and employment. With the current economic crisis, many Spanish people are flocking to the UK and Germany in search of jobs so many people are eager to learn and I have been inundated with requests for language exchanges although I can only commit to a few.

16. The Spanish don't like their left turns (Beyoncé dissaproves*).

With the huge amount of one way streets, no entry signs and traffic around Palma it appears nigh-on impossible to make a left turn for poor foreigners like myself. To counter to this in Palma, there is a series of underground tunnels which are really hard to spot and a few massive roundabouts however I feel this would take a while to get used to.

*reference to the song 'Irreplaceable'

17. Spanish people freak out at the slightest possibility of rain.

As soon as the clouds turn the slightest shade of grey people panic and whip out their umbrellas and kagools when in actual fact it doesn't even end up raining at all. Major over-reaction. Normally in the UK I don't even consider putting a rain coat on unless it's truly pissing it down.

18. Spench.

After weeks and weeks of constant immersion in a Catalan-speaking environment, I have found that I can follow most conversations around the house as Catalan just seems to be a mixture of both French and Spanish. Although I can't form any coherent sentences in the language, I can understand simple words and expressions such as Mol bé (well done), Basta (stop) and pantalons (trousers) which are similar to their Spanish or French equivalent.



19. Tea is not popular here :( *FP sobs uncontrollably into his laptop keyboard*

I don't confess to being a serial Tea drinker however I have rather missed the British Tea culture I'm used to at home. Spain like most of the world is obsessed with coffee hence the shame I felt when I could only find one type of Tea (PG tips) in the supermarket. It also appears that the Spanish aren't aware of the existence of the kettle so when I want a brew I either have to stick some cold water on the hob or in the microwave

20. My new favourite Spanish TV show is ¡Ahora Caigo!

Basically, it's a quiz show in which one contestant has to take on 10 people in rapid-fire questions rounds until one person can't answer. The presenter then presses a button to open a trap door under said person into which they fall without so much as a warning as to when it is exactly going to happen. ¡Soy adicto!

21. Road Crossing etiquette.

If you cross the street where there isn't a marked crossing or you cross on a pedestrian red light people thrown upon you. I have received some pretty nasty evils from some locals.

22. Kiss-Kiss Bang.

Although this isn't the first time I've been to Spain, I've never been clear on what the rules are on the kissing greetings. In some places in France and Spain I have either gone in for two/three pecks on the cheek only to find I've done the opposite number of the other person which has left me feeling rather embarrassed and socially inept. So, after 50 days of practice I have concluded that the rule is 2 very subtle pecks; 1 on each side; and you always start on THEIR right side. and YOUR left side. Go left first and you could end up at the lips, hideously off-target and feeling oh so awkward.

23. Spanish TV has the most inappropriate ad breaks.

Ads on the TV aren't every 15 minutes like in the UK and seem to happen at the most random of intervals. I have watched shows that have been stopped mid-song (The show in reference being my favourite-How I Met Your Mother. The episode in question being my 2nd favourite HIMYM episode 'Girls vs Suits' and the song being 'Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit'), mid-sentence or even mid-question in a quiz show. Your viewing enjoyment ruined in favour of 5 minutes worth of hamsters dancing to promote yoghurt and Pierce Brosnan showing his support for a certain car insurer. At least they tell you exactly how long the ad breaks are though.

24. What Time Is It? SUMMERTIME!

In Mallorca, the conventional seasons of Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter don't seem to exist with Summer outweighing the other 3 for most of year-not that that's a bad thing! During my time here I have worn nothing but Shorts and a T-Shirt during the day thanks to this Mediterranean climate and Autumn didn't really kick in here until the very last days of October which is very late by my own British standards.

25. Music Scene? What Music Scene?

Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of live music to see in Palma however considering the size of the city and the fact it is the largest city on the island and probably the largest city in the Balearic Islands the choice of music on offer is fairly poor. Apart from in the summer where the Mallorca Rocks Hotel in Magaluf attracts big name acts such as Franz Ferdinand and The Courteeners this year, not many famous artists choose to come to Mallorca leaving you stuck with a choice of cheesy Pop Rock cover bands, Verbena style Spanish music and not much else. However, if you know where to look, there are a few nice places to go and listen to some Jazz or Blues and some decent Rock & Roll. Agua Bar where I did my Open Mic is a cool little place where I expect I'll be returning to play some more tunes at some point before I leave.

26. Be careful with the 'S' word. Not every Mallorcan truly considers themselves as Spanish as they are islanders and have their own identity from the 'Castillians'. Think of it like the Isle Of Mann in the UK. Calling a local a 'Spaniard' may be classed as offensive.

27. Parks & Recs.

Mallorca has continued to confirm my belief that Spain has the BEST parks I've ever been to in the world

28. Parks and PDA. 

Mallorca has also continued to confirm my belief that the number 1 choice of Spanish couples for PDA (Public Displays of Affection) is in these very parks I marvel over... ¡Consiga un cuarto!

29. Pedal power.

Like many European cities, cyclists get the respect they deserve in Palma with plenty of cycle lanes on the pavements and on the roads to encourage transport of the 2 wheel variety as well as a bike hire scheme similar to that of the infamous 'Boris Bikes' in London

30. Kids are the fussiest of eaters.

Don't think anything else needs to be said here.

31. Football is religion.

Something that isn't too different from life back at home is that Football is the top dog in the sporting pecking order. There is some kind of match on TV nearly every night and at least one hour long chat show discussing the latest footballing issues. Stars like World Cup Winning Goalscorer Andrés Iniesta, World Cup Winning Captain Iker Casillas, World Cup Winning Coach Vicente Del Bosque and everyone's favourite Obi-Wan Kenobi look-a-like Xabi Alonso market all kinds of products from Men's wear for Corte Inglés (Spanish equivalent of M&S), Ice creams and Banking to Head & Shoulders shampoo and cholesterol lowering yoghurt-you can match the people to the products if you so wish. FC Barcelona is very much the team to support here with the whole of my host family being Barca fans meaning I've spent many a weekend sat in front of a TV watching their Tiki-Taka skills and yelling "¡Vamos Barca!"

32. Spanish people aren't morning people either. 

I fit right in here in Spain. Most people like to stay up late (11AM onwards) and wake up late in the morning (10AM-12PM) PERFECT!

33. Tom and Jerry rein supreme.

Every night almost without fail, all 3 kids eagerly crowd around the TV to watch 'Tom Y Jerry', a remnant of my childhood that has survived this current 'lost generation' as well as countless more before it. After all the years, I still sympathise with poor old Tom the cat. Other TV programmes that have hung on since my younger days include Spongebob Squarepants (Bob Esponja), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Tortugas Ninjas) and Pokémon

34. Exercise parks are awesome and we need them in the UK.

That is all.

35. The Spanish taste in music leaves a lot to be desired.
Spain is to Britain what my Brother Ethan is to me when it comes to Music. There isn't a great deal of variety and everything they listen to seems to feel the need to be catchy. Europop and Reggaeton are hugely popular here so pretty much all Spanish music played on the radio or in bars is designed to either get you shouting and jumping around in ecstasy or to get you to shake your Nicki Minaj (gluteus maximus) to songs being sung/shouted in very fast Spanish. I can now understand why the likes of Green Day, Pitbull and Daddy Yankee are so popular here. Hits like Ai Se Eu Te Pego and Limbo are the highlight of most people's nights out and all the chart music is several months behind. 'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke, Avicii's 'Wake Me Up' and 'Love Me Again' by John Newman are still top 10 hits while in the UK none of these even feature in the top 20. No real hope for some of my favourites like Alt-J or Dry The River making a name for themselves here.

36. "Vivo en Manchester" "Aah ¿prefieres Manchester United o Manchester City?"

This is the gist of the conversation once I reveal my whereabouts in England and can take many forms such as "¿Rooney o Yaya Touré?" or "¿City o United?". Cue awkward silence when I respond with"Ninguno de los dos, soy aficionado de Norwich City"...

37. Sunday is market day

Go to just about any town on a Sunday and you're bound to stumble upon various market stalls of Fruit & Veg, Lentils and many other products.

Getting Fruity!

38. In Spain when it rains, it pours

Rain is infrequent and comes in rapid 1 hour spells as opposed to the constant miserable level of rain we get in the UK which lasts for a whole day or even more.

39. Food & (more importantly) booze is REALLY cheap to buy in supermarkets here. This is hardly a new observations for me having been to Spain twice in the past two years beforehand but it's worth noting. A general food shop in a Spanish supermarket is roughly 20 pounds cheaper than its British equivalent and your average can of San Miguel? about 40 cents, less than a can of Coke.

40. The Germans love Mallorca a bit too much. 

Like all good tourist destinations Germans are everywhere and apparently have their own all German speaking area just south of Palma.

41. The Brits love Mallorca a bit too much.

The Brits are also strongly represented in Mallorca and like the Germans you are bound to come across several of them during a night out in Palma. Locals are fully aware that most Brits just come here to get drunk so they dare not approach their stronghold in Magaluf as exemplified by Josep who says he went there once but never again, he actually felt like the foreigner there.

42. Fresa.

On my previous visits to Spain I have come to realise that like in most countries bar the UK my name is difficult to say. I would do what my sister does in Spain where she uses her second name (Sofia) as her first name to make things easier however the Spanish version of my second name-Jorge for George- is something I really struggle saying myself. Instead, I have devised the strategy that to help people understand my name I say it's like the Spanish word-Fresa meaning Strawberry. This has been effective for the most part however this does mean to some people my name is actually Strawberry.


43. The UK and US's main export is music.

It wasn't till I came here that I realised how bigger effect Music in the English language has on the outside world. All kinds of songs in English can be heard out and about such as those by Robbie Williams, Adele, the ever unfortunately popular One Direction and surprising non-hit in the UK as far as I'm aware-Applejack by The Triangles. It is still really bizarre for me to find kids who know all the words off by heart to Let Her Go by Passenger or Hey Soul Sister by Train and whole rooms of adults who will happily join in with disco hits like YMCA by the Village People and Stayin' Alive by The BeeGees.

44. Little Barcelona 

I wouldn't know for sure as I have only ever been to the airport there but Palma is supposed to be like a smaller version of Barcelona. It's not just the language spoken that's the same but also many features of Palma such as La Rambla and Passeig de Born also feature in Catalan capital. This includes various other street names which makes looking up direction for places on google maps a nightmare.


La Rambla-In Palma of course


45. Spracken die Inglés? 

I've realised it is REALLY hard to tell the difference between English and German people even if you eavesdrop on a bit of their conversations. On occasion, I have approached someone feeling 99.99999% certain they were German/English only to find they were the other which makes me look rather foolish.

46. Spain-The Party Nation.

Whether it's Halloween, Oktoberfest, Christmas or simply the day of the saint who happens to share your name, the Spanish look for any excuse to have a party or bank holiday. In the summer Mallorca is supposed to be the 'party island' so I must find sometime to return here someday and go to one of the summer Verbenas to see how the locals really fiesta.

47. Get the London Look.

You only truly realise it when you leave the British isles but there seems to be something about London that foreigners find infinitely cool. While walking around Palma I see tons of people wearing hoodies, t-shirts or jackets bearing the Union Jack, I ❤ London and other London themed designs.



48. Sporty Spain.

Like the French, the Spanish are highly involved in a wide range of different sports. Although Football remains número uno, there is a big interest in what we would consider as minor sports in the UK which all get decent TV coverage such as Basketball, Fútsal, Handball and even Roller Hockey!

49. Botellón and ón and ón.

Having now experienced the fabled concept of Botellón for myself  it doesn't seem quite as crazy as it is advertised in the GCSE Spanish textbooks. Go out at night in Palma or Alcúdia and  you are bound to see various groups of people casually drinking out in the street and no one bats and eye which is essentially it. It's the Spanish answer to Pre-Drinks and is a great concept particularly in the summer when it is really warm during the evenings.

50. There is much more to Mallorca than I ever realised.

What most tourists who come to the island never find out is that there is a lot more to Mallorca than just beaches, swimming pools, bars and nightclubs. Palma is a city steeped in multi-cultural history and great tourist sights such as Bellver castle, Almudaina Palace and La Seu Cathedral. The coastal areas away from the touristy beaches such as the coast around the bay of Pollenca and along the North coast of the island are absolutely breathtaking and let's not forget the UNESCO world heritage site of the Serra de Tramuntana mountain range where you can get a whole different kind of Mallorca experience. Mooch around the many pokey little towns in the mainland of the island like Pollenca or Valldemossa, try some of the local cuisine including Pa Amb Oli or sea food. Mallorca came 2nd in a recent survey for quality of life behind world super power Dubai and I believe that it is is pretty darn accurate.



So those were my 50 Cultural Observations. I could probably give you a few more but that defeats the whole concept of 50 Things for 50 Days. If you feel some of them are completely and utterly untrue then feel free to correct me. I would just like to thank Jack Kenny of the blog 'Hit The Road, Jack' whose idea I stole in order to make this blog post. If you want to check out Jack's 50 things for his 50th day of his Third Year Abroad in Madrid then follow the link http://hittheroadjck.wordpress.com/2012/10/23/fifty-2/ .Jack's blog is also featured in my new section -"Pass the Blog Roll"-Blogs I Read- Which can be found in the sidebar of my blog.

Hope you liked that, see ya later Alligators!

#FraserOnTour

FP

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